The Power of Intention

Whoops- I missed two days! I didn’t even think about writing a post yesterday or the day before which is kind of weird but so be it. I took on a series of challenges to start off the new year- which basically for me starts after January 8, since that is my birthday. I’m still in holiday festivity mode til it’s over.

That being said, on January 4 I started a 40-Day Kundalini Yoga Challenge through the Life-Force Academy. I also started a 5-day fast on January 9 which gently came to a close today with a bowl of wonderful sweet potato and beet soup I made. On January 7 I made a commitment to start a 3-week cleanse beginning January 11 offered by lovely wonderful bright spirit Sacha Jones of Stiggly Holistics- although waiting to begin til I finished my fast.

Now comes the interesting part- the third challenge. About four or five days ago I was missing my Course In Miracles connection and a video came up on my Facebook page of a woman named Cyndi Krupp doing a short live feed on A Course in Miracles. There are very few teachers of the Course that I listen to because I feel like everything is said in the book and what better teacher than Jesus? But for whatever reason I was drawn to it and I listened to her and absolutely loved her presentation. I heard her say something about something you could sign up for which I ignored - just listened to the video and really connected with her message. She said one thing so succinctly and perfectly that I wrote it down, “All pain is nothing other than being disconnected from the Truth.” Later the same day I was in my living room doing my Kundalini practice and sometime during my meditation I had the thought, “I want to do a 40-day retreat. Here, now, in my home. I have the time and I need to make good use of the opportunity.” It was just a thought that came and went but it stayed to some degree quietly in the background.

The next day I decided to see if Cyndi had another video up, which she did. And this time I heard her clearly say that a program was beginning the next day, January 11, called The 40 Day Program to Transformation with another Course in Miracles teacher, Lisa Natoli. She said it had changed her life, that she began to have a real understanding and direct experience of the teachings of the Course when she did the 40-Day Program the first time.

So on January 11 I started both the Stiggly cleanse and Lisa’s program. I’ve only been in for 3 days but they have been an amazing powerful 3 days. The second day, January 12 I had a bizarre healing event occur which I will not describe because it wasn’t pretty. I will simply say that it is an issue that has been with me for years and years and I have been actively addressing it for the past few months. I am sure that the combination of internal fasting and cleansing combined with the kundalini practice brought it to the surface to finally be healed.

I have a lot of things right now to attend to throughout my day, videos to listen to, stuff to read, journaling, meditation but it’s the perfect time to do it all and the 3 programs weave together absolutely perfectly. Example- part one of preparation for both the Stiggly cleanse and the 40-day transformational work involve cleaning and clearing one’s space- decluttering. And watching what I put into my body and what I put into my mind will be a constant for the next few weeks and hopefully will be a practice which becomes a habit. The yogis say it takes 40 days to break a habit and 40 days to create a new habit.

Also an interesting side note on fasting that came up. I had chosen to fast before I started Sacha’s cleansing program and actually continued it for a couple of days into the program. Lisa talks about fasting essentially from our old ways, our stories and our mistaken beliefs about ourselves ("I’m not good enough” etc.) and one of the things that stood out to me that I had never thought of before was the two meanings of the word “fast”. One is to abstain and the other is quick-moving or hurried and I suddenly realized that fasting gets you there quicker. I love words.

Doubt, Guilt and the Benefit of Confidence (inspired by Seth Godin)

I was going through some old emails and I came across a very thought-provoking blog post by Seth Godin, dated June 28, which I had saved but not yet read, and it inspired me to write.

The benefit of the doubt

Doubt is corrosive.

Someone faced with doubt rarely brings her best self to the table. Doubt undermines confidence, it casts aspersions, it assumes untruths.

Yes, of course you need to qualify your leads. And yes, we know that you need to protect against risk and to not waste your time.

But... if you're going to spend five minutes or five hours with someone, what happens if you begin with, "the benefit of confidence" instead? What if you begin by believing, by seeking to understand, by rooting for the other person to share their best stories, their vision and their hopes?

Perhaps you can manipulate someone by scowling, by negging, by putting on airs. But if you do that, you end up with people who have been manipulated, who are wounded and not ready to soar.

The problem with qualifying leads is that all the obvious ones are already taken.

The challenge with assuming that someone is completely imperfect is that you'll almost certainly be right. 

There's plenty of room for doubt later, isn't there?

I love this. "The benefit of confidence." Of course... we see what we want to see- or, we see what we believe. It may not be what we think we want to see and of course we are constantly projecting. We see others ultimately as we see ourselves or the parts of ourselves we choose to deny and disown. I'd much rather see that needy aspect in someone else than to own it! But, what if that neediness is just a mistaken belief about myself? And what if I let go of the all the doubts I have about myself and about all the supposed "ugliness" that I am constantly trying to hide? What if I made it all up? Can I change my mind and reveal my hidden (and deeply rooted) beliefs about myself?  Can I make a deliberate choice on how I see another rather than simply casting out the old projections and assumptions? When I approach another with the "benefit of the doubt", how am I approaching myself? Can I approach myself with the "benefit of confidence"?

This is a powerful possibility for healing our minds on a very deep level.

A few days ago something came across the internet while I was online- a website where you can find out all kinds of personal information about pretty much anyone. The suggestion by a few people who had done it was to put in your own name so you can see how much information is really out there about you. So I did. It took quite a while. It kept running through more and more information searching for different addresses, criminal records, financial records, etc., etc. I watched my level of anxiety rise. What would they find out about me? What awful things have I done or gotten in trouble for that I have forgotten about? What things am I being accused of that I didn't do? What terrible things are people that I don't even know thinking, believing about me?

It ran through the whole program- which took quite a while- and when it got to the end I was informed that I could now access the file for the mere sum of $27.95. Should I go for it, after hanging out for an hour waiting for it to finish doing its thing and unearthing every scrap of dirt about me? Yes, because there is bound to be something awful in there and I need to know what it is. Yes, Paypal. Boom.

There was nothing there. A few old addresses where I had lived over the past 30 years (and one where I hadn't lived- the address of my mother's lawyer). My educational background- not much information there!

What I did discover was my own deeply rooted belief that I must be guilty even if I don't know/remember what terrible sins I have committed. So, this turned out to be an incredibly powerful and revealing process for me. I saw a depth of fear and belief in my own guilt that I was not consciously aware of up to that point.

A Course in Miracles tells us, “When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him you will see yourself. As you treat him you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself. Whenever two Sons of God meet they are given another chance at salvation. Do not leave anyone without giving salvation to him and receiving it yourself. For I am always there with you, in remembrance of you.”

Over the past twenty plus years as a sound healing practitioner, I have played this song many hundreds of times for people who were moving through their own personal doubts and challenges. I guess I need to listen to it again myself... deeply. 

                                

Tuning Into A Tune (You Can Relax Now)

I had a pretty wild thing happen today. I was driving to a friend's 70th birthday celebration and this song came into my head. I used to use it a lot in sound healing sessions, usually at the end of a treatment, but the CD eventually got too worn and I never replaced it.

Today, as I was driving to my friend's party and thinking about singing a song to her, this song suddenly came to me. I haven't thought of it in a very long time. I had to focus to bring it forward but suddenly I started singing it and all the words and melody came back to me. I was a little surprised because I had only ever sung it along with the CD but it was always one of my favorite songs. It was so nice to have it enter my mind that way and I sung it a few times through. It was about 1:45 pm.

When I got to the party I sang a different song, a birthday song that I always love to sing on the celebration day of the birth of those whom I love. I had totally forgotten about the Shaina Noll song by that time. It was just sort of a sweet passing pleasure that came and went.

A couple of hours later I was driving home and a dear friend called me from the Berkshires to wish me well on my trip to Holland. Then she said, "Rosie, do you remember that song that went... Something about 'You can relax now... Breathe deeply... You are a child of god.'?" "Yes!" I exclaimed. "Why are you asking me this?" She said "Well, I went to a funeral today and they played that song and it made me think of you." I said, "Lynda, I was singing this song just a couple of hours ago- it came into my mind out of the blue and I sang the whole thing through." Then I asked her what time it was that they were singing it. I told her it was about 1:45 when I was singing it. She said, "That's exactly when it was- 1:45. The funeral started at 1 pm and they played that song at the very end- it was 1:45." Honestly, I don't even know what to think about that. As Eric Burdon said so fittingly in his unforgettable voice back in 1970, "This really blew my mind." (Spill the Wine)

Sleeping child of God, my granddaughter Patience- photo by Kim Whaley