This morning someone sent me a wonderful song (Vege-tables) by Brian Wilson which led right into this incredible brilliant joyful and heartwarming full live performance of his 2004 album release, SMiLE (begun in 1967). I had no intention of watching a music video first thing in the morning but with the opening notes I was hooked. I went into my kitchen, turned my Bose Bluetooth speaker up high, cleaned my kitchen and danced and sang- and decided I should start every day dancing! But seriously, this is brilliant- complex beautiful arrangements that could only come from the musical genius of Brian Wilson. Turn up your speakers and SMiLE!
Ring The Bells
Today is a great day in America. We can breathe again. No words are needed. I offer you this.
Magical Maestro Istvan Sky
One simple share tonight. Two days ago I was decluttering my house as part of the personal retreat I am attending by myself in my home and I let this track play over and over.
If you want to know more about this extraordinary being watch this film. It is well worth the time.
Time and Time Again
The first thing I thought about this morning was time. Again! Specifically more songs about time. I thought I would post them right away and get my blog out of the way first thing. But before I got to them this beautiful ancient healing mantra came up on my Facebook feed. Years ago my Sanskrit teacher, the late and beloved Swami Shivananda- affectionately known to his students as Swami Bob- told me that it is the oldest healing mantra on the planet. I decided to check it out as I was curious how they chanted it, whether it was melodic or more straightforward traditional chanting.
It turned out it is beautifully sung by Shankar Sahney in responsive form and I was pulled right in. For the next 45 minutes I chanted along with it. It did wonders for me on so many levels including opening up my voice. By the end, all the cells in my body were vibrating and felt somehow perfectly aligned as if I had had a cellular repatterning. When I got up I felt clear, balanced and grounded.
When I finally got to my blog the webpage was totally uncooperative so I’m just getting to it now! Enjoy the music.
Time For Healing
Cleansing, clearing , cleaning.
Cleansing, clearing, cleaning
On the inside and on the outside.
Watching how I feed my body
Watching how I feed my mind.
Stuff to be healed surfacing
On the inside and on the outside.
Cleansing tears
Cleansing fears
Cleansing laughter
What are the words I use?
How do I talk to myself?
How do I think of others?
Now is the time.
Noticing
Even the occasional guilt around
Taking so much
Time
For me
And remembering
I am not guilty.
I have been given this
Time
The Power of Intention
Whoops- I missed two days! I didn’t even think about writing a post yesterday or the day before which is kind of weird but so be it. I took on a series of challenges to start off the new year- which basically for me starts after January 8, since that is my birthday. I’m still in holiday festivity mode til it’s over.
That being said, on January 4 I started a 40-Day Kundalini Yoga Challenge through the Life-Force Academy. I also started a 5-day fast on January 9 which gently came to a close today with a bowl of wonderful sweet potato and beet soup I made. On January 7 I made a commitment to start a 3-week cleanse beginning January 11 offered by lovely wonderful bright spirit Sacha Jones of Stiggly Holistics- although waiting to begin til I finished my fast.
Now comes the interesting part- the third challenge. About four or five days ago I was missing my Course In Miracles connection and a video came up on my Facebook page of a woman named Cyndi Krupp doing a short live feed on A Course in Miracles. There are very few teachers of the Course that I listen to because I feel like everything is said in the book and what better teacher than Jesus? But for whatever reason I was drawn to it and I listened to her and absolutely loved her presentation. I heard her say something about something you could sign up for which I ignored - just listened to the video and really connected with her message. She said one thing so succinctly and perfectly that I wrote it down, “All pain is nothing other than being disconnected from the Truth.” Later the same day I was in my living room doing my Kundalini practice and sometime during my meditation I had the thought, “I want to do a 40-day retreat. Here, now, in my home. I have the time and I need to make good use of the opportunity.” It was just a thought that came and went but it stayed to some degree quietly in the background.
The next day I decided to see if Cyndi had another video up, which she did. And this time I heard her clearly say that a program was beginning the next day, January 11, called The 40 Day Program to Transformation with another Course in Miracles teacher, Lisa Natoli. She said it had changed her life, that she began to have a real understanding and direct experience of the teachings of the Course when she did the 40-Day Program the first time.
So on January 11 I started both the Stiggly cleanse and Lisa’s program. I’ve only been in for 3 days but they have been an amazing powerful 3 days. The second day, January 12 I had a bizarre healing event occur which I will not describe because it wasn’t pretty. I will simply say that it is an issue that has been with me for years and years and I have been actively addressing it for the past few months. I am sure that the combination of internal fasting and cleansing combined with the kundalini practice brought it to the surface to finally be healed.
I have a lot of things right now to attend to throughout my day, videos to listen to, stuff to read, journaling, meditation but it’s the perfect time to do it all and the 3 programs weave together absolutely perfectly. Example- part one of preparation for both the Stiggly cleanse and the 40-day transformational work involve cleaning and clearing one’s space- decluttering. And watching what I put into my body and what I put into my mind will be a constant for the next few weeks and hopefully will be a practice which becomes a habit. The yogis say it takes 40 days to break a habit and 40 days to create a new habit.
Also an interesting side note on fasting that came up. I had chosen to fast before I started Sacha’s cleansing program and actually continued it for a couple of days into the program. Lisa talks about fasting essentially from our old ways, our stories and our mistaken beliefs about ourselves ("I’m not good enough” etc.) and one of the things that stood out to me that I had never thought of before was the two meanings of the word “fast”. One is to abstain and the other is quick-moving or hurried and I suddenly realized that fasting gets you there quicker. I love words.
Sound Images... Or Imaginings!
I just spent an hour trying to upload a bunch more images. I have thousands of digital photos of sound journeys. instruments, workshops and people receiving sound healing sessions. Unfortunately tonight my computer would not cooperate and these were all I could get for now. But if you click on the pictures at the top there is a carousel of at least a few you can enjoy- and imagine the sounds that come forth! Here is a short video of a sound spiral I created with Himalayan singing bowls.
Thank You Mr. Byrne and Mr. Bowie
I missed a few things I intended to do yesterday- like write a blog post. And do my yoga practice. But I didn’t forget my birthday! It was one of the best ever and I spent much of the day by myself. I had made a carrot cake the night before and yesterday went about making the frosting and decorating it, all to the tune- and visuals- of David Byrne’s amazing musical “American Utopia” which is now on film- and SO worth watching!
I saw it live when it came out in September of 2019 and was absolutely wild about it. I turned the volume way up and danced and sang and stirred butter and cream cheese and confectioner’s sugar and licked the spoon a whole lot- and had the best afternoon. In the eighties and the early nineties one of my birthday rituals was to watch the Jonathan Demme concert film of the Talking Heads “Stop Making Sense”. sometime during the day. I have always loved their music and David Byrne in all his interesting iterations since he has been on his own. I find him and his music fascinating and brilliant. I briefly considered revisiting the past yesterday but then realized I could watch “American Utopia” and it was absolutely the perfect choice. It was almost as exhilarating as seeing it live and the filmwork was fabulous- credit to Spike Lee for that!
This was after I had run downtown to pick up flowers. Right around noon I was just about to start making the frosting when I got a call from a number I didn’t recognize. I almost didn’t answer because I have been getting so many calls in the last few weeks about refinancing my vehicle (thanks to an online search which I didn’t realize would lead to a zillion phone calls). Fortunately, I guess because I was in a celebratory mood, I answered. Turned out it was a FedEx guy. He told me he had a delivery of flowers for me but the weather was supposed to get bad and they had been told to stop deliveries except emergencies like medicine. He said. “I could wait til Monday… but it’s flowers and they won’t last!” He was so sweet and said he would meet me downtown if I wanted to pick them up. I told him it was my birthday and maybe one of my sons had sent me flowers? And yes! I would love to pick them up and was so grateful to him for making the effort to call me. He wished me happy birthday about 3 times before I got off the phone and then I headed out to meet him. I really was so touched by his thoughtfulness. It turned out they were a gorgeous bouquet of lilies and roses that my son Nic, his girlfriend Elizabeth and my grandson Jonah had sent me. I adore fresh flowers and between the kindness of the FedEx guy and the thoughtfulness of my son and his family and the most perfect flowers the whole thing got my day off to a great start.
Once my frosting and dancing were done I cleaned myself up and went up to my friends Mahesh and Mukta’s house, up the hill behind where I live, cake in hand. They had cooked a wonderful dinner of dal, sweet potatoes and pasta with kale and shitake mushrooms and then we had the birthday cake.- completely organic and totally delicous- and another very powerful musical experience!
David Bowie’s musical “Lazarus”, which opened on Broadway just a month before he died, was livestreaming last night in the US as a tribute to his passing five years ago- on January 10, 2016, two days after his 69th birthday on January 8 and the release of his 25th studio album, Blackstar. The event will also livestream between tonight and tomorrow night in various locations and at different times across the globe. If you are a Bowie fan it is so well worth seeing. I don’t want to get into the story or a critique or review of it but I will tell you it’s phenomenal- every performance is brilliant- and if you missed it then I would say to pray that it is eventually released on Netflix, Amazon Prime or becomes available as a DVD. You can read about it HERE.
Since I share my birthday with him (yes, I know- Elvis too) and I consider him one of the greatest musical geniuses of my generation, I could not have been more thrilled than to finish off my evening watching this brilliant musical with my two very dear friends. All in all it was a great day and a very memorable birthday. And I am happy to be alive.
“Lazarus” on pause in the background!
Photo of David Bowie by Adam Bielawski, 2008.
The Power of Mantra, The Science of Sound
Yesterday, January 6, 2021, was not a good day in the history of America- the culmination of four years of narcissism, arrogance, intolerance and self-righteousness by a disgruntled employee of the people.
I made a commitment to myself a few days ago- that I would put something out there every day on this blog. I missed yesterday because I was beside myself as the events of the day unfolded. I actually went into escape mode for a while- took a drive so I could listen to the news and not be sitting in my house watching it all on the TV or computer. I needed a change of scenery. When I got back I went up to Mahesh and Mukta’s, my neighbor/friends in the other house on the property where I live, and had pizza and a glass of wine. I was going to stay up there and blow off Day 6 of the 7-day mantra practice I have been doing with Jai Uttal but somehow, after eating way too much pizza, I felt somewhat emotionally revived and decided to go back up to my house and chant. I knew it would be the best thing for me and that I would be really disappointed in myself if I missed it.
Chanting in the time of Covid… I swore I would never do webinars- now I am so grateful for them. Thank you Jai and beautiful Nubia for bringing yourselves to our living rooms!
And of course I was so grateful that I listened to my heart rather than my mind as I knew I would be. As always the chant was perfect for the day - a devotional prayer to Hanuman, the monkey-god whose heart is so big and so full that it overflows with ardent love and devotion for Lord Ram and his beloved Sita. The perfect chant when the heart is feeling wounded.
On another note which isn’t exactly a change of topic- it relates- I am fascinated by the way significant dates repeat themselves. Exactly 15 years ago yesterday, on January 6, 2006 I sustained a fairly serious head injury. I was hit in the temple on the right side of my head by a large speaker. I got a concussion but the miracle was that the flat side of the speaker hit me square in my temple. I am convinced if it had been at the slightest angle the damage would have been far worse. Anyway, that is another whole story but what I want to get to here is how nāda yoga, the yoga- or science- of sound, which Sadhguru talks about in the above video, saved me or at least got me on a faster track to recovery.
About a month and a half after the injury- I hadn’t yet started driving again and could still barely talk, had a fair amount of swelling and pain- my nāda yoga teacher Shyam Bhatnagar offered a 7-day sound meditation retreat in Fort Meyers, FL. We sat with Shyamji and chanted for several hours every day, along with doing a dietary cleanse. Shyamji is a nāda yoga master and uses the voice, mantra and tamboura. After about 3 days I started noticing distinct changes. My mind started getting clearer and there were differences in my energy level. When I arrived at the retreat I already could see considerable improvement compared to the acute stage but with the mantra and meditation practices I could distinctly sense that my nervous system was receiving benefits on a subtle yet very deep level. I also had a lot of emotional clearing during the process and became aware of the deep level of trauma that I had undergone as a result of the injury.
The healing process was long- a good year- but the improvement in the beginning with a week of mantra practice with someone who really understood the science of sound was profound. I had many other helpers during this time who I am deeply indebted to, but the mantra and purification practice with Shyamji certainly helped get the ball rolling.
Chill Out With Some Ice Music
A friend sent me a link today about ice music in Lapland. I posted about the Ice Music Festival in Norway a few years ago when I first came across it. The visuals and the music are both stunning. There’s not much I can say- it’s all here.
I don’t think that it is true that there is nothing new under the sun- or in this case, under the ice! Every moment is new and so whatever appears in the now is new. And there seems to be no end to the creative spirit and inspiration that continually uncovers, explores and creates new technologies and methodologies which give us a whole new way to experience that which is known or familiar to us in other ways.
Check out this link to the Ice Music Festival in Norway- click here.
Dancing With the Goddess
In 2015 I accepted Seth Godin’s challenge to “ship” every day for 30 days- which meant writing a blog post. I did it for almost that whole year I think. I definitely did it for many months- and I had a sense of commitment every day, a sense of satisfaction, and a sense of completion. My commitment to myself as of January 1 is to post something- or ship- every day for 30 days.
It’s late. I wake up in the morning thinking about this- this blog- observing sound throughout the day, listening deeply at times, enjoying music on a more external level at other times and sometimes just being busy… doing stuff, making lunch, doing laundry, going to the grocery store, catching up with people on the phone- all the stuff of life. Today several hours were spent in mantra practice. Tonight I spent an hour chanting this beautiful mantra to Ma Durga during a webinar with Jai Uttal. Feel your breath, let yourself drop in and enjoy that quiet place inside for a little while…
A Groovy Sunday Groove
Morning has flowed into the afternoon as I have been immersed in Sunday morning music. Started off with Traffic “Low Spark of High heeled Boys” and I was actually able to play a little of the main piano groove along with it- which was very exciting!
That led me to a bunch of Traffic, Blind Faith and Steve Winwood classics- including these…
Somehow that all led into Van Morrison’s song “Into the Mystic” from his beautiful Astral Weeks album…
and finally, that led me to one of my favorite of all-time Van Morrison albums- Poetic Champions Compose- which I have been dancing, singing and playing the flute with for the past hour. I love Sunday mornings! Enjoy the music, and tell me “Did ye get healed?”
Gratitude
I woke up extremely conscious of the passage of time yesterday and am feeling directed to make better use of it. There is no shortage of it- as well as the opportunity to spend a lot of said time in solitude. My intention this winter was to focus on immersing myself in the experience and study of sound and its effects in various forms. Of course that has been my path for a very long time but there is an opportunity right now since there is no gathering in groups and I am in a new place and not particularly inclined to promote private sessions right now until the spread of Covid begins to subside.
To that end I have joined a 7-day mantra practice with Jai Uttal as well as a 40-day kundalini yoga practice which begins on January 4. Those are the formal practices I am engaging in. Then there are my personal practices. I am definitely exploring the effects of Richway’s BioAcoustic Mat since I do not have my Soundweaver here. I haven’t been using it as often as I could but that is going to change too! I am using it with the BioMat on top which is a great combination. Yesterday I gave myself a 50-minute session while doing long distant healing for a friend at the same time. The music I used was Nawang Khechog and Carlos Nakai’s recording “Winds of Devotion” which is so beautiful and one that I have always found to be very powerful and effective on the Soundweaver.
Today I went for a beautiful walk in the woods. I found myself filled with deep gratitude… gratitude for time, for beauty, for the experience of being in a body where- because of the apparent separation- we have the gift of appreciation, for my teachers- past and present, known and unknown, for my ancestors, for my family, my parents, my siblings, my children and grandchildren, for all the masters who have walked the earth, for all that is past and all that is to come. It was an endless, expansive and totally joyful experience. From gratitude I moved into prayer. i walked and I prayed and I prayed and i walked. The prayer became the simple mantra from Dr. Emoto, “I love you, I thank you, I respect you.” As I looked at the trees, the water, the ferns, the rocks, the sky, felt the air on my skin, heard the sounds of the running water, thought about the molecules, atoms and particles that all matter is composed of… “I love you, I thank you, I respect you.” And myself, a hand on my heart “I love you”, joined by my other hand on my heart “I thank you”, and one hand then raised to my third eye “I respect you”. Over and over, tears streaming down my face.
I love you.
I thank you.
I respect you.
A New Dawn
2021. Happy New Year! I feel good. I feel hopeful.
2+0+2+1= 5. In numerology 5 is about change and transformation and after 2020 (4, think “square”, grounded, solid, not particularly creative or forward thinking) I think we are all looking forward to some major changes. That’s all I’m going to say about that!
It’s a new dawn, it’s a new day… and it’s a new year! I went to sleep a little after midnight and woke up at 4 a.m. thinking about things I want to get done and one of the first things that came to mind was to start blogging again. Along with it came this song.
Circles, Cycles and Sound in the Time of Covid
For the past 3 days I have been immersed in the Sound Healing Global Summit online. Two days left. I had an idea that I couldn’t stand online workshops but in the time of Covid I am finding myself incredibly grateful for them. I dipped my toe in when I was in the Philippines- initially to attend a Weight Watchers meeting that I used to go to every Saturday morning when I was at home in Rhode Island. It was so wonderful to see familiar faces and feel the connection from 12000 miles away! After that I started joining in on Jai Uttal’s Friday evening kirtans and Gina Sala’s Monday Mantra class, which for me, being 15 hours ahead, were a perfect way for me to start my Saturday and Tuesday mornings- with joyful sound and meditation- and to dive into practices that otherwise were completely inaccessible to me where I was, especially once we were in lockdown.
So back to the Sound Healing Summit…
FAST FORWARD!!! I started writing this on August 5. It is now October 17. My life has made such a wide and clear circle in a year. One year ago today I was getting ready to drive to North Carolina to help my dear friend and former partner Henry navigate his way through a health procedure. Sadly he died on October 18 while I was still on the road. Two days later my sister Jenny died. Henry’s death hit me like a sledgehammer and I spent a year moving through layers of grief around that. Now, a full year later, I find myself in North Carolina living in the house where he spent the last year of his life which he had helped one of our very close friends to build.
Last week, on October 11, we had a Celebration of Life on Zoom for my sister Jenny, and I found myself processing a lot of untapped grief around that. It was a beautiful event and I am so grateful that it was a full year later so that I could be fully present for it and not held captive by the feelings I had been dealing with around Henry’s death.
So… transition, changes, travel, lockdown, Philippines, music, sound and healing…
The Sound Healing Summit was an inspiration. At some point well into my stay in the Philippines, after being on what turned out to be a major sabbatical that went on much longer than I anticipated, I realized I could not make a plan as to what would be next. And I knew that I would know what the next step was to be quite simply whenever it came to me. Clarity came within the first hour of my tuning into the Sound Summit. I have a lot to process and won’t get into much detail here but it centers around creating a Wholistic Sound Certification Program. Nothing will begin to happen until at least the spring. I am spending the winter here in North Carolina brainstorming, formulating a plan, and writing.
When I went to the Philippines I brought one small (but mighty!) Himalayan singing bowl with me. I had an idea about doing short meditations and making some videos. Unfortunately there was never a strong enough signal to post them so now I am posting one short video I made one beautiful morning on Camiguin. The sound is not great as there was a ton of background noise- the people of the little fishing village mending their nets right behind me- and I was really just experimenting. Unfortunately since it turned out to be impossible to upload anything I never refined the process!
Halellujah I Am Home!
My last view of Camiguin!
Hello my friends! This is going to be a VERY short post just to say I AM HOME AT LAST! To be in quarantine, on lockdown, I could have been in so many far worse places and situations and it was not stressful being in the Philippines- but it WAS stressful trying to get home. I finally paid the big bucks to Korean Air about two weeks ago as I had heard, after two months of dealing with Philippine Airlines and having one flight after another canceled, that they were the way to go. Their international flights were going out on a regular basis and dependable, from all reports. I told my friend I had been traveling with that I was done waiting on Philippine Airlines (note the acronym- PAL! So not!) and was paying for the Stress Reduction Plan. Korean Air got me on a flight just two days after I called them at 10:30 pm (at which time they answered my call rather than keeping me on hold for an hour) and I made it back to the crazy old US of A another 24 hours later with a layover in Seoul- which happened to be the coolest airport I have yet experienced and well worth the eight hour layover!
One of the cool sitting areas in Incheon Airport- I spent 8 hours in the airport and could have stayed longer!
I am transient at this moment, staying at my son Moose and his new wife Jenny’s house in St. Paul, MN. They got married two days after I got back and that was the best homecoming I ever could have hoped for. I am decompressing and easily acclimating to being back in the states even at this strange time in which we have found ourselves. It is difficult for so many and strange in so many ways but there is so much familiarity that I find a great deal of comfort in it nonetheless.
Jenny and Moose Hardisty, married 6.20.2020
Camiguin Blog
March 1, 2020
Camiguin Island, Philippines
Sitting on the side of a mountain in a small bamboo cottage on a volcanic island in the Philippines eating my lunch- or brunch I guess, since it's only 10:30 a.m... Ferns, chopped cucumber, sprouted almonds and mung beans, avocado, carrots, Chinese cabbage and some kind of green that may be in the spinach family but looks more like basil to me. Tastes more like spinach though. Kind of viney, reminiscent also of sweet potato vine... very dark green leaves, purple stem and a delicious smooth buttery texture when you chew it.
From where I'm sitting slightly off to my left I look up at Hibok Hibok, one of the largest mountains on the island and over to the right is the ocean. I'm staying here with an old friend from Florida. We're a ways up the mountain looking down over a beautiful lush green valley covered with coconut palms and other trees that I'm not familiar with. There are cows down there and occasionally I see someone walking through the valley. Every morning a flock of egrets flies through the valley and up into the mountains.
Have been waiting for a while to take a walk, getting other morning things done. Woke up and did pranayama and then meditated to Shyamji's Mere Ram.
The cottage on the hillside…
March 9, 2020
My last day of a long fast of fruit and raw vegetables that then went into a liver cleanse. Tonight is the last hurrah of the cleanse where I will drink a solution of epsom salts and water followed by olive oil and grapefruit juice. I have done it before but not in a long time and not this thoroughly. I started the fruit fast almost 3 weeks ago when I got a little bit of a sore throat. I got a mild case of bronchitis and Jim's friend Doc (who is a doctor) is being vigilant about my clearing this and being sure that it isn't the dreaded coronavirus. And in the process it is helping me to clear a lot of old stuff from the past on different levels.
I'm here by myself today- Jim's gone swimming which I know he needed to do, and I needed to rest as I am only on water today until the evening. I had visitors a little while ago, two young girls from the neighborhood, Rovijean and Cassandra. (I have no idea how to spell their names!) They 15 and 14 respectively. They are very quiet and shy but all the kids in the neighborhood are fascinated by Jim and I. It's funny to be the exotic one- definitely a new experience for me. The two girls, especially Rovijean, are very shy and it's like pulling teeth to get them to talk but they want to visit, so I got out Jim's guitar and played some songs and chants for them. They seemed to enjoy it. Cassandra is more demonstrative and she said how beautiful they were. Rovijean just smiles, and if I ask them questions they mostly giggle. I also showed them some pictures of my siblings, my kids and my grandkids and some pictures of New England. I demonstrated the Himalayan singing bowl for them- all in an attempt to entertain them as otherwise they sit there awkardly shy.
All the kids- and the people in general, adults as well- are so sweet and friendly. Everyone greets you wherever you go and is very polite and respectful.
Jim and two of our sweet little neighbors…
March 30, 2020
So much time has gone by and I see that it is exactly 3 weeks since I wrote the last bit. I have written in my actual journal a few times but nothing here and have not actually posted any of this yet. I have also been doing a small amount of expressive art therapy as I needed some avenue for creativity and self-expression, not having any of my instruments here but one small singing bowl.
So much has happened since I last wrote. Basically the whole world is now in some form of quarantine. I am 12,000 miles from home. In many ways I think it is better. One, I am in a very safe place. Two, I think it would be harder to be home and not be able to be with my family and friends. And three, I am under the care of an amazing doctor who was trained as a molecular biologist but later became a naturopath and chiropractor and I am going through some amazing healing protocols and clearing all kinds of old stuff.
I actually got sick 15 days after I arrived in the Philippines and it is very likely that I had coronavirus, but thanks to the care of Doc I had a very mild case.
Unfortunately I am not staying in the beautiful bamboo mountain hut that my friend Jim and I rented- a slightly convoluted story but the short version is that I had decided for a few days to stay somewhere else on the island just to see a different part of it. During that period of time they decided that all foreigners who had been on the island less than 6 months, in the area where we had been staying, were going to have to leave the island immediately. The coronavirus was just hitting the states and it seemed like a completely crazy time to travel. As it unfolded Jim and I were both cleared to stay by the authorities on the island but since we were both in different places at the time we had to keep it that way. I was not allowed to go back to the bamboo house. Jim was able to stay there because he had been here almost 6 months and had been in a different municipality the first few months he was here- so they gave him “special dispensation” (my words). I was fortunate in that I was instead able to stay in the same house as Doc (the amazing doctor) because, again, it was a different municipality. (Each of the different municipalities have their own rules- which they seem to mostly make up as they go along as far as I can tell!) In the end, all just some kind of good fortune, grace or divine intervention- call it what you will.
There is a guitar here. Thank god! So that is where I get some of my relief. We are on lockdown. No one is allowed to leave the premises except the “head of the household”- at very specific times- to go get groceries or whatever else might be needed. Thst does not include Doc and I. It was supposed to be until April 12 but now they are talking about extending it until April 30. I pray not- or if they do that they at least relax the restrictions so that we can walk down to the beach and go for a swim.
Re: the guitar- thinking about changing the words of 500 Miles to 12,000 Miles. We'll see how that turns out. Meanwhile, grateful for the internet and that I can connect with so many friends and family. Time to post some pictures. Unfortunately I no longer have the incredible views I had before. I will post some of the places where I have been though- and that hopefully I will be able to revisit before too long.
And in regard to sound... that has been one of the amazing constants since I have been here. Where I first stayed it was the rhythmic sound of the ocean, then up at the cabin the sounds of the jungle- birds, goats, roosters and water buffalo during the day, symphonies of crickets, tree frogs, insects and other unrecognizable sounds at night. Here the goats, the birds and the breeze, and the occasional truck going into the cement quarry during the day, at night mostly roosters and dogs. There is a little more traffic here than in the other areas so you do here the sound of motorbikes or the occasional honking of a horn. There is also a small restaurant here which is currently closed with the lockdown but she also has a small convenience store so in the morning there are voices out front as workers or one of her friends or extended family come to pick up something for lunch or buy a small necessity from her convenience store. (She is still allowed to be open from 6- 12 in the morning.)
So there's a snippet of my current life in the Philippines. Mostly my days are still filled with cleansing and healing and I couldn't ask for more.
I just listened to all my recordings I have done with my voice memo app since I've been here. I wish I knew how to post them!
Down in the valley!
A Cool Cafe Called Kurma (A Little Lesson in Alliteration)
Well, here I sit at a very cool cafe called Kurma on Camiguin Island in the Philippines. I’m having frustrating financial fuck-ups and am on hold with one of my esteemed financial institutions. By the grace of god Google Voice will not drop my call yet another time while I willingly wait on hold.
Okay, that may be it for the alliteration part- it just kind of happened.
So, I am realizing as I sit that my battery on my computer will wear down and I can’t stay here- need to put computer on sleep so I have the info I need when they finally answer.
The End.
Except for a picture of me taken weeks after I wrote this, sitting outside at Kurma.
Note: This was actually written on February 24, 2020…
Where Everything Is Music
So much time has gone by so quickly and so full of deep emotion that it has all been a blur. The recent losses have hit me hard- Henry, my sister Jenny and most recently a dear and beautiful friend in Sedona who had brain cancer. Losses punctuated with feelings of deep love and gratitude. I feel that a major chapter of my life has closed and I am standing on a threshold. I know I will be making some big changes soon- I do hope that they will lead me ultimately to the creation of another sound healing center but right now I am just taking a big breath.
A friend sent me this beautiful poem this morning and it was so perfect that it inspired me to finally post on my blog again!
Where Everything is Music
We have fallen into the place
where everything is music.
The strumming and the flute notes
rise into the atmosphere,
and if the whole world's harp
should burn up,
there will still be hidden instruments
playing, playing
This singing art
is sea foam.
The graceful movements
come from a pearl
somewhere
on the ocean floor.
Poems reach up like spindrift
and the edge of driftwood
along the beach
wanting, wanting
They derive from a slow
and powerful root
that we cannot see.
Stop the words now.
Open the window
in the center of your chest,
and let the spirits fly
in and out!
-Rumi
Music, Tears and Gratitude
Mostly I am “okay”. Home and putting things away that Henry had saved for me. A three-week road trip which in many ways felt like an inner pilgrimage. Even though I was on the road I couldn’t really just leave everything indefinitely so instead I just tried to hold an open space for myself on the inside.
And like I said, mostly I am “okay.” And then there are those moments, which come further and further apart but still arrive… when I hear a piece of music like this and I am hit with a tidal wave of sadness and gut-wrenching tears. I am grateful that I can allow myself to feel and cry when I need to.
Grateful for the power music has to pick us up, carry us on a river of emotions and drop us on the other shore!