What is Courage?

I was driving through Long Island today and had such an interesting experience. I was going to a very high-end spa that had a collection of my singing bowls there on consignment. They hadn’t sold any in a long time and hadn’t kept a good record of what they had sold, so I was going there to see what bowls they had left and get it all straightened out.

So, I was driving along and began feeling very strongly that this was a place I did not belong, that I was an outsider. I was quite overcome with the sensation and I also became aware of the familiarity of it, going all the way back to the terror of my first day of kindergarten and all the years in elementary school when I didn’t “fit in”. I thought about how much fear I had had growing up and all the things I didn’t do because I was too afraid- that I would be laughed at, that I would fail. Not applying for art school, A) because if I did a portfolio they would see that I couldn’t draw and B) because I was afraid to get on a plane to fly wherever I might have to go to visit. Blindly diving into relationships because I was afraid of being alone, relationships which were doomed from the start because they were only a reflection of my own codependence and fear.

Drinking and drugging actually helped me plow through some of those fears at times in my life- but of course they had unfortunate and disastrous effects in other ways as I then threw all caution to the wind. But my early life was pretty much ruled by my fears. Every decision I made, or didn’t make, was born out of fear for a very long time.

I’ve thought a lot about this lately because I did eventually come to find my power. I came to find my center. I found much of my inner strength and connection through sound healing practices that I have discovered along the way- particularly those that helped me to access my voice. I also have made choices in more recent years that caused me ultimately to be alone. It hit me recently that one of the gifts of that, unbeknownst to me at the time, was that I learned that I could move forward and be strong and creative and successful on my own- that I was actually quite capable of taking care of myself.

Today my experience of myself is that I am a strong and powerful person and I love who I see when I look in the mirror. When I am unsure on some level, I am able to ask for help and not hide my fear or doubts. It hit me today that courage is not something we are necessarily born with. I certainly wasn’t. I think I have always believed that courage was an innate quality in certain more fortunate people. But today I realized that real courage is being able to accept and acknowledge our fears and to keep moving forward in spite of them, not to be held hostage by them.

Change Your Brain (or, Breathe and Smile)

This is an excerpt from a newsletter I sent out earlier today. I felt that it was worth sharing here as well.

One of the things I am always so grateful for is that I can walk through my house any time of day and pick up a flute, play a gong, a singing bowl or whatever other instrument calls to me in the moment. I always feel like, when a particular instrument catches my eye, it is sending me a message to pick it up and play. (In fact, that's basically how I move through my sound journeys- the instruments tell me which ones to play. They either catch my eye or I hear the sound before I actually begin to play it.)

It only takes a moment to change your state- sometimes just a single note or an extended tone is enough. Maybe you want to think about how you can enhance your sonic environment. Hang a bell on a door or a chime outside your window. You might already have instruments that you have never thought about as "healing"- but, as my former partner Henry said years ago, "Making any sound with a loving intention will produce a healing effect." Perhaps you have an instrument that you have forgotten about or take for granted- it has become a fixture in the corner or on the wall. Pick up that guitar or the old saxophone collecting dust in the closet! And when you pick it up, play it nice and slow. Play a long tone. And listen... listen... listen... And then play another long slow tone... Listen... Breathe... Repeat...

Or HUM!!! Yes. HUM!!! Vibrate your cells from the inside out. Science has shown how the simple act of humming can help with stress levels, sleep and blood pressure as well increasing lymphatic circulation and melatonin production- just to name a few of the benefits- and if you have a voice, you can HUMMMM!

I was actually just reading yesterday that singing is one of the only activities that activates both hemispheres of the brain at the same time. It releases endorphins and oxytocin and can influence memory and brain function. In short- it's good for you!!! Music is brain food, and like all food, it is individual. Not everyone likes the same thing. Notice what sounds excite you, calm you, ground you, make you smile. Take five minutes out of your busy day to listen- just listen. If a sound is irritating you, see what happens when you breathe into it- or hum along with it. Play with it. Become curious about it. What happens if you let go of your resistance and breathe? As my dear friend LeRoy White used to sing, "Breathe and smile."

Sonic Tonic

Oh dear, 4 months have gone by… but/and I have been busier in the past 3 months than in the past 3 years! Very grateful that people want to come together and learn in person again.

Why “Sonic Tonic”? The phrase came out of a workshop I was teaching in Tallahassee in June. I was talking about tuning forks, specifically the Biosonics Body Tuners, C-256 and G-384. I was explaining how they are essentially a tonic for the central nervous system and there it was- a sonic tonic!

To read more about how I discovered the power of these tuning forks click here.

Update: I was just scrolling through my archives and found another update on how the tuning forks helped my mother. Click on this link to read it: Tuning Mom.

Singing Takes You Beyond (Tina Turner)

Tina Turner has come up a couple of times in the last 3 days, not as the “Queen of Rock n’ Roll” as she is perhaps best known by many, but as a woman who came into a whole new level of empowerment through her Buddhist practice which began in 1973. She went from a queen to a goddess, embodying compassion and joy through her music. Watch this and tell me what you think!

Read more

Gardening and Grooving

It’s been a very intense year so far. Every day i want to write and I have had some frustration with not being able to post new pictures on my computer. Long story- not interesting to anyone, I’m sure! So we’ll just glide right past that. Update- problem solved

So where am I right now? Here’s a quick update. I fell in love.*

And now it’s September and I fell out of love. Okay, back to what I was writing two months ago.

My son Moose and his wife Jenny had twins- Ruby and Wren- on December 26. They came home from the hospital at the end of January a couple of days before their official due date of 2.22.22.

I drove back and forth to Rhode Island and Maine 3 times between October and December… and then a 4th time in April for my brother Tim’s funeral after he died from Covid.

Tim on the far right, 1972, with our younger brother Peter at the helm (age 15 at the time and youngest crew member) during transatlantic to Kiel, Germany for Operation Sail, aboard the Black Pearl.

A week after Tim’s funeral I flew out to Minneapolis to meet my granddaughters, Ruby and Wren, in the sweet pink baby flesh! They were 3 months old and it was the perfect balm after losing my brother- not that it could make up for it, but it certainly softened things a lot and nurtured my soul.

Oh, did I mention I had an appendectomy? February 22, the same night my brother Tim was put on a ventilator. Ugh, not a good night. The night before I was probably the sickest and most scared I have ever been in my adult life, vomiting violently to the point I thought I was actually going to suffocate as I was unable at times to even get a breath. it was horrible. Anyway, I got through it and felt a thousand times better after the offending organ was removed! But an emotionally challenging time as Tim was also clearly not recovering from Covid the way it was anticipated.

Next? May rolled around and I went to Florida to do 3 Healing Sound Journeys- the first public events I had done since the start of the pandemic! I have LOTS more to say about that trip and the things I learned about my work, all (or most) of which I am saving for another post. I will post a groovy picture here though!

Instruments set up for a Healing Sound Journey at the Temple of The Living God in St. Petersburg, FL.

And then it was June- which is when I started this post! A trip to Haris Lender’s Yurtananda, her very groovy retreat in the hills of Virginia down the road from Swami Satchitananda’s ashram in Yogaville. She had just completed a beautiful outdoor music stage and invited me up to do a Healing Sound Journey outside in the woods with the birds and the bees and some trees- and a few people too! She was unquestionably the hostess with the mostess and it was a wonderful time!

For those of you who are on Facebook, here is a link to a short video that Haris took. Unfortunately there is no other access to it. To watch video click here.

And that’s all for now- almost! I got back home and was able to do a bit of gardening- put in a sweet little herb garden… planted 3 kinds of thyme, rosemary, lavender, parsley, echinacea, mint, catnip, lemon balm, lamb’s ears, kalanchoe and a gorgeous orange canna.

I also managed to find time for a bit of artistic expression (besides cooking, music, sound healing and gardening) and I did this collage on canvas which I think is my favorite to date. So, I’ve caught you up to June with many gaps but I’ll leave you with this image. More to come.

I AM... Happy New Year

I can’t believe I haven’t written a blog post since August! Well, it’s a new year and here I am again. My son Benjamin and I had a sort of brainstorming session today to see how we could inspire and and motivate each other to move forward on some things we both want to accomplish. We have started a group called I AM- Inspiration, Aspirations, and Motivation. We each committed to a 30-day trial period and we will check in with each other once a week via Zoom to see how the other is progressing. My main focus is to work on a book on sound healing I started writing years ago and his is to get a couple of papers completed that he has been working on for a very long time.

One of the other things I wanted to do was to get back to my blog. We are going to read Seth Godin’s book The Practice: Shipping Creative Work together and I am committed to writing a blog post once a day.

I’m done for today. It’s a start.

I AM grateful.

Is It Raining With You?

It’s Tuesday morning. I’ve been awake since about 4 a.m. after a pretty intense week and a half- two of my sons in the hospital, one after the other- which has definitely thrown my sleep cycle way off. One of them has a bone disease and had some complications due to that. And the other has Crohn’s disease and had an intestinal blockage which thank goodness has passed without him having to have surgical intervention. It’s now about 6:30 a.m. and I am sitting in bed drinking very bulletproof coffee, listening to the rain come down outside my window. There is something that feels so healing about the sound of the rain- and even though it’s early and I am awake I feel like I could stay in bed all day and just bathe in the sound- soothing, cleansing and purifying. I have written a card to one of my cousins and read some lessons from A Course In Miracles.

I have been spending a lot of time thinking about how I am going to restructure my business, mostly working on getting the sound worked out to be able to do more events on Zoom. I hope to have this done by the end of the week- in fact am thinking about doing a crystal bowl meditation on Zoom for the solstice as part of the Circle of Sound Global Harmonization Ceremony. I am doing a test later this morning with my sister. If all goes well I will follow up with invitations to the event.

unnamed-1.jpg

Oooh- hear comes the thunder! This is the first thunderstorm I have experienced since moving to the mountains of North Carolina. It is a different sound than when I lived in RI at basically sea level. I am living in a hollow in the mountains at an elevation of about 2000 feet. The sound seems more contained and in some way more resonant as it seems to be sort of held in the hollow where I am living rather than having an open space to spread out- as if it’s in sort of a container. Very interesting…

Dancing With the Goddess

In 2015 I accepted Seth Godin’s challenge to “ship” every day for 30 days- which meant writing a blog post. I did it for almost that whole year I think. I definitely did it for many months- and I had a sense of commitment every day, a sense of satisfaction, and a sense of completion. My commitment to myself as of January 1 is to post something- or ship- every day for 30 days.

It’s late. I wake up in the morning thinking about this- this blog- observing sound throughout the day, listening deeply at times, enjoying music on a more external level at other times and sometimes just being busy… doing stuff, making lunch, doing laundry, going to the grocery store, catching up with people on the phone- all the stuff of life. Today several hours were spent in mantra practice. Tonight I spent an hour chanting this beautiful mantra to Ma Durga during a webinar with Jai Uttal. Feel your breath, let yourself drop in and enjoy that quiet place inside for a little while…

Vocal Revelations

Yes, me too… even though in my classes I encourage students to let go of their own self-judgment when it comes to their voice, to let go of the belief that they “can’t sing”, “can’t hold a tune”, and all of the terrible things they might have been told about their voice from childhood (which is mostly where all this negative self-talk and self-limiting beliefs come from)- when I hear my speaking voice recorded… yes, I cringe. And I love this article which explains so clearly and obviously the primary reason for that- which is that a recording does not pick up the rich low overtones which we hear internally through bone conduction when we speak. That is why we often don’t sound like “ourselves”- or the way we think we sound- upon listening to a recording of our voice.

Here is the link to the article The Real Reason the Sound of Your Voice Makes You Cringe

I also found this fascinating TedTalk which addresses the same topic.